Ichi Rittoru no Namida

My Heart Will Go On, improved...

This movie... is just... great.
I think everyone should go watch this movie, you'll learn a valuable life lesson. So, I've finished the drama, finished the movie and I've read a lot of her diary... I'm usually not into asian things unless they are HEAPS good... First death note, now this. It gives you a lot of hope, it makes you feel happy to be the person you are, that you run around, WALK even... You can't be thinking about things that happened in the past, Aya kept wanting to go back into the past before this disease... where she could play basketball, run around, do the things she loved..

I wanna make a time machine and ride it to go back to the past. Watch myself run, walk, roll around, and play with you... but then I come back to reality.

Eventually, she realized that there was nothing she could do about this disease, and nothing she could do to change it... so she changed her outlook on life, an optimistic change.

I shall treasure the beginning of my youth without any regrets.

I really don't want to say things such as 'I want to go back to how things were before.'
I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on.
Therefore I definitely won't run away.
That's what I’ll do. Definitely, always.
Even if it's like that, I still want to stay here.
because this is the place where I am.

People shouldn’t dwell on the past. It's enough
to try your best in all that you're doing now.

Just feel happy and don't linger to much on the past.

Aya Kito

Contradictorily...

Recently, I've felt pretty crappy, and I don't know why... okay, I know perfectly why I don't feel alright... I'm overthinking about something, something... I will not list here x) I hope this is just a short phase and it'll be over soon.... I really do, because if it isn't, I'm going to need to change a few things to adapt... or do what I did before? I should definitely write a letter to myself like how Ted does in HIMYM.

It's not my fault that I try to look on the brighter side of things, especially after watching A litre of tears, I've been a lot more optimistic then I usually am... which is pretty damn pessimistic. You see, I remember the good times/things, why would you want to remember the bad side of things?

If i wrote a letter to myself, then that sort of kills my optimism streak... but I would rather do that then feel emo ya know? Hehe, that rhymed. I will think about it tonight, maybe type it up on my phone before I go to sleep then transfer it somewhere... somewhere where I can just look feel bad for a bit... short term sadness, long term... betterness .. whatever.

You know, I might lyric and quote spam this blog... we'll see.

On a lighter note, I have been feeling better, and somewhat relieved about a few other things happening... This one thing that I have not yet told anyone, and it seems to be progressing well. Although, some negatives come out of it which I don't like >:( The end outcome of this may also help me with another problem too :) Once I get over that problem, I think I'll be "complete" for a while... until I do something stupid, AGAIN.

Anyway, today, we were just messing around in Physics since Tob can't teach whatsoever and played an insult game, Ramnik called nigel ugly (pretty unoriginal...) and Nigel just looks at him. Casual face and all, and says "OKAY OKAY.... You can't be hypocritical". We laughed for like 2 minutes straight, fucking hilarious. Might not be so funny right now, but if you see Nigel's face along with him saying it, it's freaking hilarious! Again, in engineering, my hands were absolutely FREEZING, and I just put both my hands on Bahroze's face and when he screamed, half the class just crapped themselves laughing, he sounded like a mix of some alien, baby girl and some type of animal.

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight
Let's just fix this whole thing now
I swear to God we're gonna get it right
If you lay your weapon down

5/10

I tried to be perfect, it just wasn't worth it.

Jason.